Thursday, August 11, 2011

Help me make a thesis for this paragraphhhhhh?

When I read this, I get the idea of it, but it is confusing. Get your information and your facts right. For example, is it General Electrics? Or do you refer to the well-known large company called General Electric? Difficult obstacles? Have you ever known an easy obstacle? Dined with different expensive wines? I dine with friends. He had wines sitting across the table from him? I know what you mean, but that's not what it says. He made a deal with Europe? Or with a company in Europe? And if the company was in Europe, why did he go "back and forth across the Atlantic and Europe"...why not stop in Europe? Again , I know what you mean, but it's not what it says. Time to rewrite.

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